“If you read your marketing, sales, or Web site descrptions for your business out loud, does it sound like a real person is saying it?”

Rohit Bhargava wrote this in his book Personality not included: Why Companies Lose Their Authenticity, and How Great Brands Get It Back.
Talk about a lousy title for a book.  But do not be fooled.  Read it.  It’s great.

Bhargava clearly articulates something that has been inarticulately bugging me for years.  He says that the market-speak of the past doesn’t work in the days of Web 2.0.

Even in the days before the Web, I never thought much of market-speak.  Stuff like this gave me hairballs even when I wrote it.

“Help from alumni, parents, and friends is key to meeting the demands of the 21st century while providing the best possible atmosphere for learning.”

(Before flaming, let me point out that most colleges and universities sound like this when asking for money.)   

Do you trust this college?  Does this sound authentic, like a real person wrote it?  Or is it something that The Onion or Wonkette loves to hate?  (For those of you who haven't met them, these are the kind of people who skewer phonies all over the Web.)

Read Bhargava for actual practical tips on how to stop being a faceless piece of Teflon and start talking like a real human being.



Teflon inventor Roy Plunkett

Last Friday November 6, I did a workshop in public speaking for the 2009 LeadNY class.  

The LeadNY program, run from Cornell University, provides a two-year program of seminars, workshops, and field trips for people in
New York’s $4 billion agriculture industry.  It’s a big commitment.  People from all over the state travel to various cities for a series of three-day events, learning how to lead their industry.

After my workshop, five brave souls had volunteered to be guinea pigs, each presenting a five-minute persuasive speech.  Experience level ranged from an ex-teacher to not so much.  Did I mention that they were brave?

Check out a of the few topics I learned about:
conservation tillage
mobile meat processing

Many of the LeadNY participants want to influence public and social policy, so it’s a good idea to start practicing early.  And, as with any speech, practice is the only thing.

Plenty of online sites offer How To Write the Persuasive Speech.  Here’s my favorite.

Looking at the Persuasive Speech definitely takes us back to the basics.

• Know your Audience—and use that to connect with them
• Learn what makes a good argument.  That’s argument as in “reason to believe,” not as in “talk radio.”
• Practice well.

Meanwhile, thanks to the LeadNY folks for the maple syrup and the interesting speeches.

In the past week, I attended three large networking events, collecting a fistful of business cards and listening to lots of elevator speeches.
The elevator speech is that 60-second talk about your business, suitable for telling to someone you meet in an elevator before he or she can escape—I mean, before they reach their floor.

At the Women Ties conference, we did some speed networking—moving from table to table and repeating our E-Speech over and over.  After the tenth repetition, even I was tongue tied, and one very professional woman lost her thread completely and sputtered into silence.

E-Speeches are not easy.

My favorite how-to article on this topic appears on Quintessential Careers site.  One great suggestion:  develop different speeches for different situations.  I’d suggest having at least a short one and a long one.  You can also tailor them to particular client groups, or to each service that you offer.

One again, notice the need to practice practice practice!   It’s the only way you’re going to sound relaxed and casual—and avoid tongue-tied sputtering.

I just gave a speech about public speaking, using my experience as an actor, teacher, and writer.  

The main points:

• You have to be yourself, and you have to communicate with the audience.
• You have to practice, and practice well.

I was not surprised to discover that the best books on the subject were by ex-actors.  Speak Without Fear, by Ivy Naistadt, offers great tips and exercises for all those who find public speaking to be a fate worse than death.

Taking Center Stage: Masterful Public Speaking, by Deb Gottesman and Buzz Mauro, uses all the skills you learn in acting class to help public speakers.

All public speaking advice begins and ends with the word practice.  But I would add that it must be good, useful practice, not just going through it wrong over and over again. You need a plan.  And you need an audience.

Actors call it rehearsal.  Actors rehearse with a director.
 
Athletes call it practice.  Athletes practice with a coach
. 
The director or coach creates a practice plan; then tells the performer when they’re on, and off track.  A good director stands in for the audience.  A good coach leads the athlete to do her best.

Don't practice hard.  Practice well!

I believe that clear writing reflects clear thinking.  And that fuzzy, buzzword-laden writing reflects fuzzy thinking.

Now I’ve got scientists on my side.

Awhile ago, I blogged about this topic. 

So I was excited to learn that John Geppert and Janice Lawrence, at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, have proved that CEOs who use jargon and weasel words are more likely to commit the kind of fraud that led to the economic meltdown.  The Christian Science Monitor reported it.

But I first read the article in GoodNUz, a University of Nebraska alumni magazine.
 
Yes, this Bostonian-born-and-bred went to grad school on the Great Plains.

 And I’m not surprised that this study came out of the straightforward Midwest. 

Maybe their winds blows all the bullshite away.

Why would a freelance writer spend her vacation studying playwriting?

The obvious answer is because I’m also a playwright.

Another answer:  playwrights know all about catching the reader’s interest, telling the story clearly, and keeping the reader wondering what happens next.
 
In our world of the short attention span, writers need to grab and hold an audience with every tool we can find. 
The Playwrights’ Intensive at the Metropolitan Theatre Ensemble taught me how to discover those tools.  So I’m mining the world of playwriting in order to write better brochures, fund-raising materials, marketing materials, and video scripts.  Thanks to Karen Paisley and Stuart Spencer for an amazing experience!

(If you go to the Playwrights Intensive link, you'll see a photo of me being Dead Mother.  Blue t-neck, white pants, closed eyes.)

Then I went to the Southampton Writers Conference,where Laura Maria Censabella showed me how to catch and hold the attention of an audience.  And  Jacquelyn Reingold, who writes for theatre, television, and film, taught me about the incredibly detailed structure that TV writers use.

Think about it.  TV writers have to grab you over and over again, to keep you coming back after every commercial.  After all, you can change the channel any time.  Or go get a snack.  You can even just turn the tube off.
 
It’s the same with your direct mail letter, your marketing brochure, or your website. The reader can toss it away or surf to the next site.  The writer’s job is to keep them reading. 

Did you?



 

Higher education is my beat.

I love talking with faculty and students. I love learning about their work in every discipline: law, theater, agricultural economics, you name it.

Here are a few things I’ve learned about interviewing academics.

Start out filled with intellectual curiosity.  You can’t fake this very well.  An academic friend once complained to me about a writer he called a “dumb groupie,” who loved academics, not their ideas.

Bone up.  You’ll be talking everything from Chinese history to veterinary science.  And you’ll be talking with people whose lives revolve around their topics. With curiosity and research, you’ll be able to ask interesting questions and follow the arcane conversation with the same enthusiasm as the professor.  

Realize that the process will take at least two hours.  Ask enough questions to focus the interview without derailing the discussion.

Once you’ve got a notebook or MP3 full of high level talk, it’s time to make the story fascinating for everyone without misrepresenting the complexity of the professor’s work.  When you research the topic, be alert for when the writing works and when it doesn’t.  In general, notice, find, and read writers who make intricate concepts clear.  Then -- practice!

Your job is to make the college and its work look terrific, and your interviewee feel great about working there.  That means allowing your interviewees to read your article.  A journalistic no-no is the college writers’ “yes-absolutely.”

They will nitpick your work.  They’re academics.  So when you send the material, set them up carefully.  Say something like:  “I know how busy you are, so just let me know about any factual errors, or misrepresentations.  This is for a general audience, so I’ve simplified accordingly.  And my editor wants only 900 words, so if you really need to add anything, tell me what to take out.”

Usually the professor gracefully says “feel free to take or leave my suggestions.”  If not, treat him or her as you would a client, tactfully discussing how some of the edits will work for your audience, and some won’t.

Then stand ready to learn about another esoteric and enthralling topic.

I cannot resist posting this YouTube link.  Negotiation is all very well, but some of us take it too far!

Vendor-Client Relationships

(Please note that the guy in the restaurant says he could get a beef dinner at a taco stand for much less than he paid in this nice restaurant.) 

As my friend Jeanette used to say:  "You can get it fast, cheap, or good.  Choose one."

Today I’m following up on last week’s rant about the way bad thinking shows up immediately as bad writing or bad public speaking.

Folks sent a couple of interesting comments about that notion.

A.   Many brilliant scientists are terrible public speakers, and their writing is so technical only their peers understand it.  But there's nothing wrong with how they think!

B.   Language is left-brained, and many expressive people are right-brained.  They work better with mind-mapping, or pictures.

However, if you want to communicate your ideas, your work, or your product, you have to use language that your audience understands.  I love pictures too, but they can’t do it all.  And scientific illiteracy regularly appears as Terrible Trend of the Times.

So, you scientists and engineers, you right-brained artists, you who hate to write or to speak in public—how are you going to market all you know and everything you can do?

Here are five starting points:

1.  What you say is important, but how you say it is essential -- if you want to communicate to anyone except people just like yourself.

• If you only speak scientific jargon or a colorful patois, your audience is limited.
• If we can’t hear you because you mumble or speak in muted tones, your brilliance will be lost.

2.  You have to know your audience.

• At many conventions, academics happily listen to one another mumble their way through jargon-riddled speeches; then avidly read the conference proceedings.
• But how would you get this information to the general public?  lawyers?  high school students?

3.  People can’t listen as fast as you can talk.

• That’s why you tell them what you’re going to tell ‘em; tell ‘em; and tell them what you told ‘em.

4.  Your personal habits can work for you, or against you.

• Remember how you watched your teachers’ every twitch and repeated phrases?  The more of those a teacher exhibited, the less you learned.
• On the other hand, imitating the “right” speaking or writing style never works.

All that leads to the most important point:

5.  Practice, practice, practice.

• When a speaker or writer makes it look easy, he or she has practiced.  A lot.  Usually in front of a teacher, who can catch the jargon, the mumbles, and the fuzzy organization.

And remember, I look forward to your comments--because everyone needs to practice!

In my little college town, everyone is a writer.

 

On the World Wide Web, everyone is a writer too.

 

The resulting tsunami of jargon, p.r. clichés, and blogolescent maunderings leads this omnivorous reader to prefer made-for-tv movies and Sudoku.

 

It also leads to a failure to communicate.

 

Here are a couple of my pet peeves:

“Located in the heart of the Fingerlakes.”  Or the City.  Or the back yard.

“Writing is our passion.”  Or health.  Or industrial piping.

In his book The Art of the Start, Guy Kawasaki says it this way.

“Our software is intuitive, secure, fast, and scalable.”

      As opposed to hard to use, vulnerable, slow, and limited?

Surrounded by monster marketing, hampered by time crunches, sooner or later we all resort to this stuff.  After all, what’s the down side?

 

Maybe you aren’t a great writer.  But if you settle for marketing jargon, adminispeak, and Orwellian double think, you’ll start to believe it.  Your ability to think will get scrambled.  And your business will suffer. 

 

Consider George W. Bush.

Cute: 
"I didn't grow up in the ocean -- as a matter of fact -- near the ocean -- I grew up in the desert. Therefore, it was a pleasant contrast to see the ocean. And I particularly like it when I'm fishing."

Not Cute:
"And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq."

I rest my case.