Some guy on an airplane just decided that a seatback in his face was not acceptable. His violent response to the situation made the national news.

Been there done that, artistically speaking. Way back in 2007, while at the Last Frontier Theatre Conference in Valdez, Alaska, I took a class from Margaret Lally called “Writing the Rant.” 

As taught by Lally, a rant was a kind of performance art. You write an outline, then get up and improvise your way through it. I ranted about my airplane trip from Ithaca NY to Anchorage AK. The way you elbow through line after line, lugging backpacks and suitcases. The way you sit on the tarmac until you are thoroughly steamed, both physically and mentally.  

But in the climactic moment, I ranted about the seat in front of me. Although it held only a baby seat, the parents had tipped it all the way back, so their darling would be comfy. I spent the flight from Detroit to Anchorage with a seat in my face.

Meanwhile, the baby in question never occupied its little throne, but instead wandered from parent to parent, who had strategically placed themselves on opposite sides of the aisle. I’m sure the flight attendants really enjoyed that. I know I did.

Here’s a rough outline of my ranting conclusion.

“Finally, I placed both feet on the offending seatback and shoved. Hard. Seats fell like dominoes. Hundreds of people went face down in their laptops. Pretzels flew everywhere. Lots of screaming. Three flight attendants gang tackled me.

"You know, the security people were really nice about it all. And my accommodations at Gitmo are much more comfortable than that dammed airplane.”

To quote Lily Tomlin (and Jane Wagner): "Art. Life. Life. Art."